Performer to Present Day

My journey as a performer to the present day…

            Being a performer was my identity.  In high school and college, I always wore the label of singer.  It was my pass into being accepted in the music world and I cherished that.  Growing up I always heard rumors that to be part of the music world you must perform.  After all, the old saying is if you can’t do-teach.  I believed that for a long time especially since my musical journey did not begin as a “happily ever after “ fairytale.  Instead a discouraging 7^th grade choir teacher would not allow me to audition for a state competition because he believed I would “never make it in the music world.”  Luckily for me, I also had a strong-willed mother and an amazing community choir teacher, Mrs. Claire, who made sure my teacher’s denial didn’t discourage me.  Mrs. Claire pushed me to continue.  I knew that if I wanted to audition next year, I’d have to work for it and I did.  I practiced scales, arpeggios, sight-singing and took theory lessons just to make me a more well-rounded singer.  The next year, I auditioned on my own for the choir and got accepted.  I began to work even harder and in 9^th grade switched teachers, and took private lessons to prepare me for life as an opera singer.

Now auditioning for competitions, summer festivals, and music programs, I found myself relying heavily on my new teacher, Dr. Toppin.  Not only was she my source of knowledge and growth but she also emerged as my encourager and believer.  In her, I found strength, dedication, and tenacity.  And to be clear- it was her hard work and mine that made my successes a reality.  In order for dreams to work, you have to work and I worked harder when I knew someone believed in me.  As soon as I began to succeed in auditions, I realized that a life as a performer is not what I wanted.  I looked up so much to Mrs. Claire and Dr. Toppin for believing in me and encouraging me to pursue music and knew that encouragement is what I wanted to give to others.  As I began my college years, I found my voice teacher, Dr. Pedigo, really empowered me to discover that side of myself.  She encouraged me to explore all areas of my life that interested me and gave me a direction. Soon, that direction led me to Charlotte.

            I moved to Charlotte and began teaching kids through the Charlotte Symphony’s Winterfield program.  It was a part of the week I always looked forward to and I enjoyed the mystery of never knowing what was going to happen; no matter how much I’d planned. I began to realize that although I was the “music teacher,” I felt more like the student.  The young musicians that surrounded me became my sense of inspiration, hope, and commitment.  The hard work and long hours didn’t matter.  Hard work isn’t hard when you work for students who yearn for what you give.  I learned that lesson early on in my performance years.  When you work hard, you know it and even if others don’t notice, the work provides the confidence you need to continue.  That confidence, however, sometimes wavers. That’s happened to me.  Yet waning or flourishing, confidence is all part of the journey.

            Choices mapped my journey.  I wanted my dreams to work, so I worked for them.  I may not be a performer, but I still consider my life a performance.  A performance created through lessons, mentors, teachers, personal choices, and hard work.  Every day, I have the choice to give it my all or throw in the towel.  Music changed my life.   I’m ready to encourage that change or the stage to someone else.